Hello!

I have decided to write a blog and share with you my story on my pregnancy, the birth and everything since!

The above picture, is me on the day I found out I was expecting!

I found throughout my pregnancy, that I actually knew shockingly little about pregnancy and childbirth. So here it all is, from my point of view. This is not for the faint hearted. I mean, it won’t all be gross, but it will be honest. So don’t expect flowers, glitter, unicorns and fairies throughout! So here we go, and I hope you enjoy hearing about my life and experiences. The good, the bad and the ugly;

I found out that I was pregnant on a sunny afternoon at the beginning of February 2015. I used a clearblue test which showed that I was 1-2 weeks pregnant. I have since realised that this is the conception date, and I was actually around 3 and a half weeks pregnant, so a really early detection!

It was not planned and I was not with the father, but I didn’t doubt for 1 minute the decision I had made to go ahead with the pregnancy, and motherhood with or without the father.

The father had very different views to me, he said he didn’t want to be a Dad and needed to think about what he was going to do.

Now, we were never together, but we had been seeing eachother on and off for a year, and had known each other for around 10 years. The first few weeks of pregnancy were very hard for me, I was so happy to be having a baby but constant arguments with the father, on top of  hormones increasing day by day were taking its toll.

I had some weird period like pains not long after discovering I was pregnant, and some sharp pains around my ovary area. I called my doctors who referred me to the early pregnancy unit at East Surrey hospital. I wanted to go on my own, which I did and here they would do a scan.

As I was only 5 weeks, all they could see was the empty sac. They assured me that this was normal at this stage and took a blood test, as from here they could check my hormone levels. If my hormones doubled 48 hours later, this meant it was likely to be a viable pregnancy. If they only went up slightly, it was likely to be an ectopic pregnancy, and if the levels were to stay the same or decrease this could be a sign of a failing pregnancy.

I called anxiously on the day the results were due 48 hours later, to be told that my hormone level had doubled and I could have another scan in a week to see if they could see anything yet. I had the scan, and this time at 6 weeks pregnant they could now see the “Yolk”, but still no sign of baby. Again they reassured me that this was normal this early on.

They booked me in for a further scan 2 weeks ahead so that baby would definitely be visible by this point. However, 1 week on from the last scan, my worst nightmare became a reality. I had popped to my mums after work where my cousin and her son, my godson, were also. I was getting all excited about the baby as my Mum and my cousin were talking about their pregnancies, and getting excited for my experiences to come. I was just about to leave my Mums, but dashed to the loo for a quick wee before leaving. I will never forget this moment, and my heart broke in an instant when I suddenly saw blood on the tissue.

To be continued in my next blog.